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Survivor!
Sarah1919 (AU1)
Posts: 3,817
If you like it or just want to know what its about, I love it so much I have decided to make a new thread about it! Only post if your into it - don't bother saying things like 'This is a stupid thread' or 'I hate survivor' cuz I don't care - I like it, you don't - its an opinion!
I can't wait - there are only 5 days left till Survivor Blood vs Water starts!!!
So far...
We know that it is Returnees (People who have played before) vs Relatives (The Returnees loved ones)
I can't wait!!! In this thread I will post whats happening at the moment on Survivor and what I think of it - feel free to post what you think of it too.
Also, don't forget to check out 'Bitchy Survivor Blog' (http://bitchysurvivor.blogspot.com.au/) It has another interpretation of what is going on!
Comments
I thought it was Fans v Favourits
Also when is it comeing to Australia!
was a f vs f but this season is Survivor Blood vs Water is Two tribes of ten: returning contestants against their loved ones. Also, do you know how its usually filmed for 39 days? Well this one is filmed for 39.5 days! (So precise!)
Yea, the US gets it earlier than Aus - JEALOUS!!!!! They get it on the 18th, we're in for the 19th, can't wait! This Thursday at 8:00.
2 for the US
Lalalalala!!!
Tomorrow better come quick!!!
'Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.'
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GjUWl1MxGNI/Uji1LI9jfMI/AAAAAAAALz4/3tkzp5x_hf8/s320/kat_douche.jpg
And this brings us to the nightmare you see in the photo. He bored us senseless on Big Brother and here he is again to bore us some more on Survivor. Completely devoid of personality and charisma, HayDouche (Hayden) is a boil on the butt of humanity. And unfortunately for her, KitKat (Kat) is now guilty by association. We laughed at her in One World when she opened her mouth and Skittles fell out. We delighted as her Twizzler fingers curled in the sun. And we guffawed when she farted Pixie Sticks and belched Nerds. None of that matters anymore. She's dating that helmet-headed bohunk and now she must go down with the ship.
Try to keep your eyes open if you can. Please to not even remotely enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fwSR54EJU9Y
(I shall type/react as I watch)
Is he catching flies or trying to form a coherent thought? Dude, close your mouth! No matter how wide you open it, intelligence will not fly in. *pushes play again* Normally, in the everyday world, two heads are better than one. In this instance, two heads are like two rocks banging against each other. Thunk! Clunk! Schlunk! Doh!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rt502u9flYU/Uji4cTfuuJI/AAAAAAAAL0E/NwluR8OpfVM/s320/enormousdouche.png
Drrrr... drrr... drrr... *makes gorilla noises* Me HayDouche. Me play Survivor. Me talk real good. Ooo ooo aaah aaah. She girlfriend. Me eat nits in girlfriend hair. Mmm good. Drrr... drrr... drrr...
Welcome to your nightmare, kids. We're going to have a good time this season.
So, how hard will the elves in KitKat's head have to work yanking pulleys and levers for two? If KitKat belches Pop Rocks and HayDouche sharts Coke, will they both explode and leave this earth forever? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
-Colette Lala on Bitchy Survivor Blog -http://bitchysurvivor.blogspot.com.au/
Have a look! You're sure to like it!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mAyrgCO5ay4/UjsVkTxDpTI/AAAAAAAAL2E/56tFEm1074U/s320/grassyknoll3.png
Yea, that little hip pose is getting old, you did that last season! Anywayz, driving in a little buggy or sailing in on a breezy boat we have our competitors!
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GjUWl1MxGNI/Uji1LI9jfMI/AAAAAAAALz4/3tkzp5x_hf8/s320/kat_douche.jpg
Dun Dun Dun! Kat with her Boyfriend Hayden who will be known as... Haydumb venture into the jungle and when finding out they will be spending a night all by their selves which their parents apparently never allowed by the sound of their reaction! Hayden is going to make the show suffer! I can’t believe they accepted him!!! I’m not saying another thing about him, lets get on with it!
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-B3vqVKbWb_Q/Ujm1VrkCQBI/AAAAAAAAL1U/wIElZRCtwwU/s320/tyson_rachel.jpg
Next in comes Tyson and Rachel. Tyson was da man in Heroes vs Villains right? I don’t know what it is about him but something just isn’t right! Well, I hope we find out what it is this season, I have nothing else to say!
Now Tina and daughter Katie come in on a boat, Tina went from top of the heap in Survivor: Australia to Franconfetti status in Survivor: All Stars. Never has a fall from grace been quite so embarrassing or forgettable. Can Tina bounce back and redeem herself this time around? Katie, She's awkward and unsure of herself with her wandering eyes and uncomfortable grimaces!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LXN15VDpPL0/UjmwbuC24QI/AAAAAAAAL1E/uy98O45UX0M/s320/tina_katie.jpg
Now, Romantic Rupert (Grizzly) and his wife Laura come in, tye-die shirts and determined looks make them the pair. Grizzly is one of those players you either hate or love, In Utah I loved him but by the end of Heroes vs Villains I wanted to strangle him but now... I really like him again! With his heroic act later on I think he’s gonna make it interesting!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-z7gwH0vyBmM/Ujmo0PDky9I/AAAAAAAAL00/hXdqUCnUaQw/s320/rupert_laura.jpgting!
Monica and Brad are our next couple, Monica is ready for revenge and Brad is just gonna die! Reinforcement or what, he can’t help you kill Princess Darth Vader (Colton) cuz you’re against Brad too! The Culpeppers are lovely and adorable and... full of murderous rage! In an interview, Monica described how she wanted to repeatedly jab Princess Darth Vader with a boulder, Monica’s got her cheer ready!
2-4-6-8!
Who can we humiliate!
Colton! Colton!
Dieeeeee Colton!
*high kicks, roundoff back handspring, split*
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_Xx4QjZ8MZY/UjmXIvI0TeI/AAAAAAAAL0k/j5unNXnO83Y/s320/monica_brad.jpg
So, will the Culpeppers get the revenge they can smell so sweetly, will Monica auction the bloody boulder on ebay? ‘Tis for Dimples (Jeff Probst) to know (and CBS) and for us to find out... by waiting Thursday after Thursday after Thursday!
Laura and Ciera are another mother and daughter group!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9kF6Q5nEA98/UjmRgRQlxfI/AAAAAAAAL0U/_hEeWbplGWc/s320/laura_ciera.jpg
So as I watched the interview with them I think they’d be a much better team if mummy gave Ciera permission to speak!!! Collete Lala called Laura, Medusa and I am unable to find what I called her in her previous season! Collete also mentioned Dirty Pillows or something? Well, I’m confused and you probably are too so let’s get on with it!
Known for eating a rat and being the laziest player in Survivor history, Gervaise is our representative from Borneo, the very first season! Merrisa is gonna be a fierce competitor or a pain in the neck this season, I reckon she’s bringing action in with her... I hear Gervaise has some hits coming out! Lets continue and we’ll soon find out!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-reo0K5Wrxxw/UjhlMPw0jjI/AAAAAAAALzo/RXrlAY7NwSQ/s320/gervase_marissa.jpg
Next up is the white supremacist, Princess Darth Vader (Colton) (whom we shall shorten his nickname to PDV), and the lost soul he actually convinced to marry him. If you'll remember, PDV was medically evacuated from Survivor: One World when the hatred in his heart decided to dine on his lower intestines and eat him alive from the inside out. Most remarkably though, is that Dimples (Jeff Probst) told us, Survivor would never have PDV back. Well, Dimples lied and the easter egg is back! I researched and found PDV also stands for Packet delay variation which is the difference of delay of packets in computer networking! Does PDV stand a chance of surviving past the merge (first tribal council)? Will Caleb (PDV’s fiancé) be the man he sounds like or will he relate to PDV???
Our next pair is Candice and John, the married doctors, that’s impressive, they’re both doctors! Maybe they met and fell in love while operating on the heart of a man? Romantic maybe for a doctor but not for me!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3EAPlTdJMGo/UjhNGTpl1GI/AAAAAAAALzI/lSBYQc-bl2s/s320/candice_john.jpg
They look more like athletes, not doctors but oh well! I reckon they’re gonna be big threats this time! In their interview they reminded me of Aryan and David from Big Brother 15! When Aryan wasn't busy cutting David's steak into tiny little pieces for him, she'd lecture him for many many hours on the dos and don'ts of how to play the game. I expect to see the same thing from Candice and John. Candice will reprimand, lecture, throw her arms around in an exasperated manner and send John to Time-Out more than you can ever imagine. The irony is that John could easily last longer than Candice. It won't be because of his stealth and cunning though. It will be because Candice never let him out of Time-Out and the rest of the tribe forgot he was even there. Only when John hurls his dunce cap into camp will the tribe remember to let him out of his cage. So, what do we think of this couple? Will I be invited to the party John hosts when Candice is voted out? Who will John get to cut up his meat for him! Lets look at our final pair now!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gFz6ufcDhI0/UjhHfWj-IUI/AAAAAAAALy4/Bxw_lSEddSY/s320/aras_vytas.jpg
Our final group, brothers Vytas and Aras, remind me of Cain and Abel! Vytas has been in Jail while Aras awarded some award of awards... I expect jealousy and an overwhelming sense of frustration to consume Aras' every waking thought. The raging green envy juice will course through his veins until one day he'll bludgeon Vytas to death and chuck his lifeless corpse into the formerly sanitary water well. Poor Vytas, we hardly knew ye.
So what do we think of the Biblical Brothers? Will Vytas overshadow Aras? Is the rooster in the background crowing a warning to Vytas?
So there we have it, the cast of Survivor Blood vs water!
Nicknames will evolve during time, once their personalities are revealed!
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT6CtDalGTUIQYNgP3KZvOZB4WdSdhpeTgANd7VVgjuPzSUcQJ4Fw
So, now that we’ve met our 20 competitors, we can continue, With Dimples safely nestled back in his tent getting a "massage" from a local, our ten teams are told to spend the night in the jungle with only their wits to guide them.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AQjU74ns1KI/UjsfLF7ys8I/AAAAAAAAL2U/ng1gohiA6JA/s320/fancyracist.png
The next morning our Survivors come out of the jungle and meet to see that Dimples (Jeff Probst) is waiting! Dimples has a twinkle in his eyes as he says "You will experience this game with your loved one, but you will not be playing with them. You will be playing against your loved one." Hearing this, Fancy Pants (Colton) clutches his pearls and gasps as Rachel (Tyson's girlfriend) stares off in the distance through tearful eyes. Laura B. (Rupert's wife) fidgets from side to side as KitKat (Kat) nervously looks over her shoulder to Haydumb who is standing there wondering what time Julie Chen gets there.
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Dimples smiles very pleased with himself and continues to poke and prod until the most drama-worthy moment leaks out of someone. He fails with Tina who delivers a ho hum speech about how competition is good for the soul, but he hits pay dirt when he turns to Brad Culpepper. Brad replies that on the surface he'd like to beat his wife, Monica's, ass in every competition. But deep down, down in the ooey gooey mushy parts of his soul, he could totally see himself throwing a Challenge in order for his wife to win a tarp. Oh no he di'in't! Oh yes he did! Hearing this, Marissa (Gervase's niece) stares open-mouthed shaking her head and declares, "Not if you're on MY team! You better not be on my team saying that." A tight-lipped Monica slyly stabs the heel of her stiletto into her hubby's foot with all the force she can muster. Brad quietly winces to himself as a single teardrop falls into the sand. Five minutes into the game and already he's in the doghouse.
The groups then divide into two teams of Returning vs Loved Ones. The returning players tribe being Elderang (Galang) and the Loved ones being Younghana (Tadhana).
Now that the tribes have been formed, it is time for each one to vote someone out. Say what? Why?! That seems not only weird, but incredibly unfair. One twist is ok. Two twists is pushing it. Three twists is just plain overkill! Cool it with the twists, CBS. Just let the players play the damn game!
OK so Fancy Pants, hated by everyone and everything, quietly freaks out as Brad lowers his baseball cap as far as it will go hoping no one will remember how he just said he'd throw Challenges in order to let his wife win. Meanwhile, Grizzly looks around himself puzzled as Tyson tears the lid of his marker off with his teeth and happily scrawls down a name.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EjtAPzy7RFE/UjsnbmloJwI/AAAAAAAAL2w/-bpLOE8hOdo/s320/votelaura.png
The Younghana's reveal their votes first and, strangely, almost everyone has voted for Laura B. I say "strangely" because nothing about this woman looks the least bit threatening. She's not a hulking meathead nor is she young and spry. I guess the newbies just sent a message to Rupert – We want you gone!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ba39Q1aNKEk/UjspOWHfbzI/AAAAAAAAL28/BE6PC9LK5pg/s320/votecandice.png
Now it’s the Elderang’s time to vote! The Elderang’s have more history together and so their votes aren’t as surprising as the Loved Ones. I thought Colton was gone big time – No good for tribal strength and yet a dangerous threat! But my thoughts were wrong, the votes split between Laura M and Candice, Candice being voted out. The females will be sent to Rhode Island (Redemption Isalnd) where they’ll compete in a duel to get back in the game. But wait, there's more! Now that Laura B. and Candice have been voted out, their respective husbands are given the opportunity to take their places on Rhode Island. If they choose to play for them on Rhode Island then their loved one will return and compete on the opposing team. I know, I know, it's a lot to take in and so unnecessarily confusing. At home I was hoping that the person voted out would simply be sent to join the other tribe not be shipped off to Rhode Island so early in the game. Since when do I ever get what I want?
Grizzly, playing the noble and selfless card, hastily runs over to Dimples, shoves Laura B out of the way and takes her spot. Dimples panics and immediately radios to Burnett back at HQ, "Mayday! Mayday! We have a situation! Our lovable season clown could be sent home early! Mayday!" Defeated and forlorn, Dimples then presents the same offer to John who acts sad yet on the inside is extremely happy to see his wife go, no more lectures or meat cutting, so, whens the party John? “I don’t know, I think I can beat him” says Candice (Well, she defiantly hasn’t watched Rupert play the game before!)“Well, my wife is a very tough woman, and we think we’ll give her the chance to beat Rupert”. Yep, you’re bluffing John, You want her gone!
After more tears and more goodbyes we finally end up at Elderang where the returnees fall into a group hug and dive into their chest of supplies. They have a hammer, a machete, but no flint. Look, you pampered peasants. You should have nothing. NOTHING! You would be constructing your shelter with twigs and spit if I had anything to say about it. Hoity toity Aras sneers down his nose and sighs, "I can't believe we don't have any flint." Tyson replies, "On Heroes v. Villains I watched and helped Rob start a fire with bamboo. We can do it." Aras quietly buffs his nails against his shirt and thinks to himself, "No way I'm ruining my manicure!"
Meanwhile, Gervaise is throwing pebbles at Laura B.'s head. Each time she turns around to catch the culprit, Gervaise puts his hands in his pockets and whistles to himself. He didn't want to play with Laura B. He wanted to play with Grizzly! Aras agrees and tells Laura B. to her face, "I so wish your husband was here instead of you. Ugh! I mean, you're great. You're fine and all that, but your husband would be SO much better." And then he helped Gervaise collect even bigger rocks to throw at Laura B's head.
Now, I don't know what sort of Assertiveness Training Seminar the Culpepper's took before arriving in The Philippines, but it's doing their game in left and right. First, we had Brad and his verbal diarrhea and now we get Monica trying to convince Fancy Pants that they should squash all that nonsense that happened back in One World.
After a meeting Brad held saying something along the lines of ‘What I said before stank, if you don’t see me doing 100% at a challenge feel free to vote me out!’, Brad and John are splish splashing and high fiving over at Brokeback Waterfall. If his wife taught him anything about Survivor, it was to hit the ground running and start forging relationships by any means necessary. So, his tip? Gather up the dudes, including the gay, and take a bath!
While sudsing up and scrubbing one another's hard to reach places, Brad tells John that they should make one big Dude Alliance. They'll gather up all the guys - and the gay one, Caleb - and that should give them like 67 votes or something. Hearing the plan, the men all grunt and scratch themselves. It's a go! It's almost too easy!
Brad then run downs to the beach to double check the figures on his abacus.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K-M1sgf_g50/UjtFQreBeTI/AAAAAAAAL4k/VnZBHYmaRLU/s320/counting.png
"One gay plus one douche minus my wife plus two grams of heroin. Wait, are there one douche or two douches? Let me start over."
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s9R09bHxsAc/UjtFZXy5NhI/AAAAAAAAL4s/_Ovx2tBeALA/s320/mathishard.png
"Two douches plus no John Cochran's and one gay... maybe I should make it two gays. Wifey does cook a lot of pies. OK and two gays... daggumit, I lost my place!"
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“I hear the gays like fisting”
Brad, cool it! MATHS IS FOR SUCKERS!!!!
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Y200gkB-BGU/UjtI-tVaJhI/AAAAAAAAL5A/0NKYUGyfCys/s320/dirtypillows.jpg
With the Dude alliance firmly in place, the Younghana’s continue working on their shelter and try making fire. Ciera's eyes glaze over as she watches Brad huff and puff trying to get a flame. It reminds her of when she huffed and puffed and pooped out a baby at the age of 16. Shuddering at the memories and the image of Medusa locking her in the closet yelling something about dirty pillows, Ciera collects herself and thinks, "I'll get her back. I'll get my revenge!" Similarly, Vytas stares at the frustration Brad is feeling and remembers his own frustration back in college when he used to scour the back alleys in search of a fix. He recalls his parents' disappointment when he went to jail for that year. That was the year Aras won All-American for something or other, Prom King and Most Likely To Succeed. Vytas inhales deeply and thinks to himself, "It's MY turn now, little brother!"
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lpwE_izZ0TY/UjtNEO8shyI/AAAAAAAAL5M/hS2axRYdc54/s320/rage.png
Meanwhile on Rhode Island, Candice is training to be a serial killer. She lines up coconut after coconut and assigns each of them a name. Raising her machete high in the air she shouts, "This one is for Fancy Pants!" Thwack! The tiny leaf sweater Candice tied around the shoulders of the Fancy Pants coconut tears in half as his coconut water brains leak out onto the sand. "And this is for Tina!" Thwack! "I'm going to kill you Medusa!" Thwack! Coconut brains and guts litter the Rhode Island shore as Grizzly shakes his head disapprovingly and curls up for a nap. As he snoozes, Candice stands over him watching his chest go up and down... up and down... With an eerie calmness she raises her machete and holds it over high over the sleeping giant's head...
And this brings us to the big Immunity Challenge. Come on in guys! For today's Challenge, Survivors will have to race over a series of obstacles, perform a belly flop, abandon their tribe mates, complete a puzzle and raise their flag. The first tribe to gloat obnoxiously wins Immunity. Survivors ready, go!
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The tribes burst off the start and into the water. The Elderang's gain a slight lead as Merman Tyson swims ahead of everyone. The Younghana's, however, are using a different tactic. It's this new thing called helping and apparently it's the latest rage. The beefier bunch assist and lift the womenfolk over each and every obstacle. Perhaps there is something to this "helping" thing after all because the Younghana's pull ahead and gain a huge lead. They successfully untie their boat and begin to paddle back to shore.
But back in Elderang's lane, helping each other hasn't caught on yet as Aras lays splayed on the rolling pin and Gervaise sinks to the bottom of the sea. Eventually, Aras manages to dislodge his leg from the spokes of the rolling pin and dives down to retrieve Gervaise's bloated body. He hurls Gervaise into the boat and the Elderang's attempt to paddle back to shore with Kat calling the shots, "Go this way! No, that way! I mean, this way!" Naturally, the Elderang's end up paddling in circles creating a drain-like effect and getting sucked into the darkest depths of the ocean.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N6tXbh-QUd0/UjtVomgP07I/AAAAAAAAL6E/wBMsjx86xTQ/s320/winimmunity.png
Miraculously, the Elderang's reappear just in time to battle it out with the Younghana's at the puzzle. We have Caleb, Ciera and Katie against Monica, Medusa and Tina. It's young vs old, daughter vs mother, rage vs resentment. In the end, in this case at least, with age comes wisdom and with wisdom comes focus and speed. ELDERANG WINS IMMUNITY!!
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wLk8YtV04gI/UjtXJCcQ5LI/AAAAAAAAL6Q/dQ8hsh4A0sI/s320/fool.png
And like all the great reality moments through history and time, a song is born. We've had unforgettable hits like 'Pants On The Ground' and 'Gone With The Wind Fabulous', but none compares with the new chart topper... 'Don't Let That Fool You, Baby!' Sung by Gervase Peterson with passion and zeal, 'Don't Let That Fool You, Baby!' is an anthem for all ages. The lyrics are simple, but full of meaning... "Don't let that fool you, baby! Don't let that fool you! Don't let that fool you! Don't let that fool you!
Back at Younghana, the mood is dank and depressing. Brad tries to lift everyone's spirits by telling his tribe that everyone gave 100% today in the Challenge. Katie listens to the speech and clenches her lips tight. She choked today trying to finish the puzzle and she's worried that the tribe will hold it against her. Not only that, but her mother beat her!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AzqVNQoW-xE/UjtalAz7owI/AAAAAAAAL6c/fjscN3Pdtns/s320/mock.png
Marissa is also a little nervous about her place in the game. Her uncle's chart topping hit, 'Don't Let That Fool You, Baby!' may have pissed off the members of her tribe. The problem is that Marissa isn't distancing herself from the Gold Record. In fact, she's making a spectacle and mocking her Uncle Gervase for bad sportsmanship. Watching it all, Katie smiles to herself and shields her body with a bush. The less attention she draws to herself, the better!
So, the big question now is who the Dude alliance choose to get rid of? John and Caleb aren't too happy about Gervaise's showboating after the Challenge. Brad then scratches his chin and wonders out loud if they should get rid of Marissa and send the Elderang's a message. His ideal message would be, "Let's win with grace from now on." In reality, the real message would be, "Take that, Gervase!"
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TJ87NmqWniw/UjtcB9PkdMI/AAAAAAAAL6o/qQ57B8GUp_4/s320/tribal.png
So, Tribal Council! Yea, yea, we all find the quiz time interesting but I’ll skim through it real fast, Dimples begins the evening by posing a question to Haydumb, "What's the toughest part of these few days for you?" I forget what he answered so skip that one! Dimples then turns to Ciera and asks how her experience has been so far. Ciera replies that all the stories the mother drilled into her head over the years is nothing like being out there and living it for yourself. The hunger is unbearable and she feels like something is clawing at her insides trying to get out. Dimples' eyes immediately widen and twinkle. There is nothing more he loves more than a Survivor having a miserable time. Me too, Dimples!
We then turn our focus to John. "John, you let your wife go live in a rickety shelter with a hirsute fellow and no food. Don't you feel guilty?” Yes yes, all very touching with the tears for your wife and all but let’s get on with it!
Well, it is time to vote! With an almost unanimous decision, Marissa is the first person voted out of Survivor: Blood vs Water. Turning back to give a death stare Marrisa leaves with a burning fire of revenge in her heart! It turns out that sending a message and twisting a knife is more important than keeping a tribe strong. On the upside, 'Don't Let That Fool You!' will be out on iTunes soon!
So, what did you guys think of the first episode? Did the right person go home? Will Gervaise care that Marissa is gone? What does Brad think 4+5 adds up to? Get ready for the next episode tomorrow! The old Colton is back and The redemption island duel is on, who will win?
Experts and Ideas from Collete Lala’s Bitchy Survivor Blog
It says
"Don't fear your insanity,embrace it!"