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The Plush Pub

Hey there, Names Joe, its called The Plush Plub cause there are a bunch of cushy chairs back there, (they are freaking awesome! like a minny trampoline man!) I got sprite, coke, pepsi, ale, beer, red and white wine, mead, and water (but that costs extra) I only have sides currently, Nacho (libre) and a taco, hope you enjoy.

*spits on rag, washes a clean cup, puts dirt in it, cleans it out a bit, puts in rack with a bunch of dirty rags, commences to cuss out cat*

so, err, come in... ya... 
I have hacked joseph719, I'm not what America wants, I'm what America NEEDS!

~Batman

(My ideas are to give everyone Bat throwing stars, crime rates will drop rapidly, first few weeks they will spike about 1,000% percent, then it will be fine)
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Comments

  • Pangur Ban Grimalkin Muezza Bastet III looked up in half-bemused pity as her sometimes cherished but always a little muddled pet Joe tried to person-meow some of the more elementary ... baby step, really ... imprecations, maledictions, obscenities and expletives she'd patiently been trying to teach him ... along with so much more ... for the past seven years and more.  She sighed.  She supposed it really wasn't fair to expect too much of the poor creature; his memory and knowledge base only reached back a few decades, an eyeblink compared to her own databank of several hundred millenia worth of past lives, taken nine at a time of course.  For instance, she could look up and see that that seemingly innocuous cup her pet had just put in the rack was reflecting the light a little too smudgily, the patterns of dirt were clearly wrong...too subtle for Joe to see at this stage of his education, which she despaired of ever finishing in his one brief lifespan, given his current rate of progress...; but she knew the signs of a scrying spell that could, if left to grow, develop into a dimensional link that would allow the passage of more lethal things than just a wizard's gaze.  She sighed again even as she leaped up and batted the cup down to the floor, shattering it and the dimensional link at one and the same moment.  Probably that troublesome mage Skroggi Alderblat again; another case she'd had to intervene to get the creature out of her pub when Joe completely failed to pick up ONE of her warning hisses and tail-lashes...she thought she'd been clear enough, but her silly pet just kept on making small talk with the evil creature who'd CLEARLY been intent on weaving a web of fuddlement around both of them and then...who knew; even SHE couldn't fathom the minds of practitioners of the darker arts of gramarye, but she sensed enough defilement radiating off Skroggi's soul to know she'd had to prevent it at all costs.  At least the episode had given Joe a chance to TRY and practice the simpler profanities during the intervening weeks...generally directed at her, but she didn't hold that against him.  Much.  It wasn't the poor creature's fault that he was born human, and therefore simple-witted almost by definition.

    Proud non ruby-whiner
  • Tux (AU1)Tux (AU1) Posts: 5,237
    A penguin walks in.

    He walks back out...

    Before walking back in.

    What's your menu? I'm starving and the Hanging Noose and Cyclone's Pub is next door. That's like 20 meters away!
    Part of something as Tux
    Proud Warzoner.....Warzone 2100...
    I use Linux!

    Proud Crown Prince Paladin of The Alliance Imperium

    Tux101 @ Canada1 #TheDreamLivesOn! Seriously. MAKE ONE
    Tux @ au 1 ~ ???
  • Dammit! There's no whiskey? *Swears*

    A pint of beer, then.
    Bazooka Duck of Fire | High Councillor of Inrazimad | That Person with an Addiction to Cookies 

    Um . . . I don't have enough titles. I must brainstorm!

    @au1 ~ graceL.H.E - Level 70 - Storm Cloaks - The Terrible
    @en1 ~ InsaneDuckling - Level 70 - New Vision - The Terrible

    One of those weird old players who became all sentimental after leaving the game before they could see dear old Empire rot away even more. 
  • Dan o Shanter (US1)Dan o Shanter (US1) Posts: 396
    edited 30.09.2015
    Pangur Ban (she allowed the shortened form after the second contact) eyed the penguin curiously.  Evil mages were generally not noted for their sense of humor; this could be Skroggi's twisted way of threatening herself and her pet with a like transformation...if this WAS a transformation and not an actual Narnian Talking Beast or a werepenguin from the Siberian and Inuit faerie realms.  However, BECAUSE evil mages lack a sense of humor, she rather suspected Skroggi would not choose a PENGUIN this far south.  A fearsome jaguar or a ravening carnivorous ape were forms one would more likely espect the fellow to select..evil mages are also remarkably uncreative in their repertoire.  SHE on the other hand, being a skilled poet for the past several dozen incarnations, would have admired to come up with the notion.

    Taking note of the creature's alcohol preferences, she began to lean against the option of it's being a Narnian either.  Possible, of course, still they would be more likely to choose wine or mead...although certain exceptions like Puddleglum spring to mind...of course he was not a Talking Penguin but a marsh-wiggle; beer might be Puddleglum's tipple...bitters preferably; a little muddy with sediment.  No,  A lot.  Whisky...mmm, there might be some bad memories therefrom from his misadventure in the giant's castle, the LAST time he drank a tipple of such proof.  Anyway he was the only Narnian she could think of who wouldn't at LEAST have an equal preference for wine and mead.  She wisped and curled herself a little nearer to the fireside where most guests who ate and many who didn't came to sit at the small tables (some of which have the additional property of producing fascinating cat toys in the form of flies and occasionally the dangling shoelace of a passed-out dipsomaniac, toper, tosspot, bachhanalian, barfly, carouser, souse (the varieties they came in were endlessly fascinating),...sometimes with flies congregating around the shoe to which those laces are attached.  The cushy chairs that surround the tables are perfectly suited to spend the night in, being properly shaped to the human body in any position, provided that that position provides either a cat toy or a warm lap. sometimes both...and she couldn't COUNT how long it took to engineer that.  At times she'd almost gotten annoyed with her poor pet, he was so obtuse, but she quickly recovered her composure remembering what a limited brain he was operating with, only able to perceive three dimensions and...well, not the most sophisticated understamding Bastet ever gave.  She wasn't sure whether a penguin would find these chairs equally appealing, but if she couldn't get a reasonably close observation post to indulge her curiousity it would be easy enough to move.  When necessary.

    Proud non ruby-whiner
  • *Sighs* Dan o Shanter, ever heard of asterisk-style role-playing?
    Bazooka Duck of Fire | High Councillor of Inrazimad | That Person with an Addiction to Cookies 

    Um . . . I don't have enough titles. I must brainstorm!

    @au1 ~ graceL.H.E - Level 70 - Storm Cloaks - The Terrible
    @en1 ~ InsaneDuckling - Level 70 - New Vision - The Terrible

    One of those weird old players who became all sentimental after leaving the game before they could see dear old Empire rot away even more. 
  • Haven't, sorry...please elaborate

    Proud non ruby-whiner
  • Okay then . . . Not that there's anything wrong with story-style roleplaying in Pubs, but asterisk-style role-playing is generally more common in Pubs/Taverns/Inns (curse you K K). You use asterisks (*) before and after actions to show what you're doing, and dialog is quotation-free.
    Bazooka Duck of Fire | High Councillor of Inrazimad | That Person with an Addiction to Cookies 

    Um . . . I don't have enough titles. I must brainstorm!

    @au1 ~ graceL.H.E - Level 70 - Storm Cloaks - The Terrible
    @en1 ~ InsaneDuckling - Level 70 - New Vision - The Terrible

    One of those weird old players who became all sentimental after leaving the game before they could see dear old Empire rot away even more. 
  • Rax sniffs suspiciously at the half drunk brew clutched in his clawed hands.  Then slowly the lizard folk raised is scaly snout to stare at the penguin.  From his corner table near the fireplace Raz could hear its idle chitchat with the barkeep.  Deciding that since the barkeep was answering it then it was safe to resume drinking.  Raising the mug to his lipless mouth he mutters softly to himself. "This may end up being an interesting night after all."
  • *Drags hand down face*

    *Sigh*
    Bazooka Duck of Fire | High Councillor of Inrazimad | That Person with an Addiction to Cookies 

    Um . . . I don't have enough titles. I must brainstorm!

    @au1 ~ graceL.H.E - Level 70 - Storm Cloaks - The Terrible
    @en1 ~ InsaneDuckling - Level 70 - New Vision - The Terrible

    One of those weird old players who became all sentimental after leaving the game before they could see dear old Empire rot away even more. 
  • *blinks*

    *idea of asterisk roleplaying begins to worm its way into brain*

    *strikes plasma-hot glossolalitic poet/storyteller matrix interwoven with most basic protocellular structure*

    *brain explodes, taking small corner of the bar and large tray of assorted drinks with it.  All characters in the pub coincidentally bend down to check their shoelaces at the same time, thus missing being hit with most of the flying glass.  As to the rest of it, I leave it between you and your moirai whether you're one of the unlucky sods who straightens up just a bit too soon*

    ...:::..
    <<....:::::::::::::::::.....>>

    Pangur Ban hissed in annoyance.  As so often, the experience of several thousand lifetimes (taken, as before, nine at a time) had stood her in good stead, leading her to stash several spare brains at various strategic locations around the Plush Pub for just such an occasion as this; but it always got her fur a little stirred each time she had to actually resort to such extraordinary measures.  She needed something to improve her mood, but the only being currently sitting in the cat toy section was the lizard folk, which helped the Plush Pub's income no doubt, since the creatures drank a good deal: but a cat toy such creatures just weren't -- cold blood equals no warm lap to occupy; no shoes equals no laces to stalk.  She'd heard that the lizard folk of the far south had fascinating feathery fringes at the back of their heads for a cat to bat around once the folk was passed out, but SHE'd certainly never met any.  She wondered what else she could do to release some of the stress...

    ...:::..
    <<....:::::::::::::::::.....>>


    *eyes penguin speculatively*

    *reflects that penguins are, after all, essentially large BIRDS...*


    Proud non ruby-whiner
  • Raz wonders why he bent down to check  his shoelace for it is clear he never actually wore a shoe in the first place.  Righting himself the lizard folk says to himself "Been too much to drink..  thinking I have shoes.  That and the penguin." Draining his mug Raz gets up to leave and catch movement out of the corner of his eye.  Turning his head Raz sees the barkeeper's cat sneaking up on the penguin who was too focus on its meal to notice.  "Well it looks like this time there be some fun."  With that Raz sat back down and watched.
  • joseph719 (US1)joseph719 (US1) US1 Posts: 224
    *gets out cat nip* here kitttyy kitttyyy kitty!

    *cat gets disdainful look, continues to stalk penguin* *I kick cat*

    oh, and yes, I do have whiskey, somewhere.. maybe... last I checked, but you never know if that danged bird of mine drank it again... oh wait, ya, it is still here, forgot that the cat ate it... 

    oh, and welcome to the cruel worlds of whatever penguin called this crap whatever your username is Mrs. Cat or whosoever I am speaking to.

    and if the penguin/cat start fighting, I place my bet on my kitty, well, actually no, but pop corn is 50 cents.
    I have hacked joseph719, I'm not what America wants, I'm what America NEEDS!

    ~Batman

    (My ideas are to give everyone Bat throwing stars, crime rates will drop rapidly, first few weeks they will spike about 1,000% percent, then it will be fine)
  • Whiskey! I demand whiskey!
    Bazooka Duck of Fire | High Councillor of Inrazimad | That Person with an Addiction to Cookies 

    Um . . . I don't have enough titles. I must brainstorm!

    @au1 ~ graceL.H.E - Level 70 - Storm Cloaks - The Terrible
    @en1 ~ InsaneDuckling - Level 70 - New Vision - The Terrible

    One of those weird old players who became all sentimental after leaving the game before they could see dear old Empire rot away even more. 
  • Dan o Shanter (US1)Dan o Shanter (US1) Posts: 396
    edited 05.10.2015
    *nimbly dodges kick*

    *bats at Joe's shoelace for about 30 seconds before getting disgusted with crusted beer texture and smell*

    *sigh* The things a noble scholar and poet has to put up with just because one happens to be a cat...

    *decides that although the catnip is so stale as to be more like cat-parsley, it's better than nothing*

    *eats catnip*

    *burps*
    *looks around for more while simultaneously continuing to stalk penguin*
    *leaps...*

    Proud non ruby-whiner
  • *Snorts* Oh no, you don't . . .

    *Grabs cat's neck mid-leap and throws it to the ground*

    If there's something you should know, you don't mess with us birds.

    *Transforms into duck, then back into human*
    Bazooka Duck of Fire | High Councillor of Inrazimad | That Person with an Addiction to Cookies 

    Um . . . I don't have enough titles. I must brainstorm!

    @au1 ~ graceL.H.E - Level 70 - Storm Cloaks - The Terrible
    @en1 ~ InsaneDuckling - Level 70 - New Vision - The Terrible

    One of those weird old players who became all sentimental after leaving the game before they could see dear old Empire rot away even more. 
  • *Raz stares dumfounded.  For a moment he thought he seen the woman holding the cat face level change into a duck then back again.*

    "TIs not a good night for me to be on the streets."

    *goes to Joe the bartender to ask to stay in a room for the night.*

  • joseph719 (US1)joseph719 (US1) US1 Posts: 224
    ouch, my shoe lace, darned cat! oh ya, and um, here have some whiskey.... (drink responsibly)

    Sure, in your state you better sleep for free, here buddy right thise way *pats jackel on the sholdeir, quickly steals wallet, shows jackel to room*  *looks at whoever is reading this* what? I dont charge for a thing, a THING! ok, a bit, but still, I gotta make a living..

    (my "parsley" is wonderful thank you very much! :wink: and notice me breaking dat fourth wall :trollface: )
    I have hacked joseph719, I'm not what America wants, I'm what America NEEDS!

    ~Batman

    (My ideas are to give everyone Bat throwing stars, crime rates will drop rapidly, first few weeks they will spike about 1,000% percent, then it will be fine)
  • *whirls nimbly around to land in four-pawed crouch with the grace of the deep-stoned 'catnip' groove*

    *sigh*
    Oh, now you've really gone and done it...

    *channels full Bastet form, transforming to clawed woman with the head of a lioness, while simultaneouly sending ka form out invisibly to satisfy curiosity as to what Joe and Raz are doing*

    And you should know its not nice to tick off a goddess

    ("She personified the playfulness, grace, affection, and cunning of a cat as well as the fierce power of a lioness." ... http://www.ancientegyptonline.co.uk/bast.html )


    Proud non ruby-whiner
  • *Grins defiantly*

    And yet you decide to try and eat one of us birds. Most especially the one who just happens to have an entire fleet at his beck and call. I say, bring it on.

    *Draws sword from between shoulder-blades and ignites it with flame from palm*
    Bazooka Duck of Fire | High Councillor of Inrazimad | That Person with an Addiction to Cookies 

    Um . . . I don't have enough titles. I must brainstorm!

    @au1 ~ graceL.H.E - Level 70 - Storm Cloaks - The Terrible
    @en1 ~ InsaneDuckling - Level 70 - New Vision - The Terrible

    One of those weird old players who became all sentimental after leaving the game before they could see dear old Empire rot away even more. 
  • joseph719 (US1)joseph719 (US1) US1 Posts: 224
    *gets behind bar, starts selling pop corn*

    *grabs shot gun for safe guard* 

    heh, what the heck was in that catnip....
    I have hacked joseph719, I'm not what America wants, I'm what America NEEDS!

    ~Batman

    (My ideas are to give everyone Bat throwing stars, crime rates will drop rapidly, first few weeks they will spike about 1,000% percent, then it will be fine)
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