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Epicness

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Comments

  • Sam4 (GB1)Sam4 (GB1) Posts: 464
    edited 01.09.2014
    TannerM. wrote: »
    This thread almost makes me want to start playing on that server

    UK1 is by far the best Uk server. Is that because lots of us are British and enjoy a vast range of herbal teas? Is it because we are all illegally avoiding GGE tax on our cookies and gold? Is it because we take this game about as seriously as a bag of mouldy cantankerous kumquats?

    No, it's because we're the only UK server! Erm, which I guess in a sense makes us the worst UK server also. Ah.
    Sam4 - Leader of EPICNESS @UK1
  • Urúvion (US1)Urúvion (US1) Posts: 13,858
    edited 01.09.2014
    Sam4 wrote: »
    Quantitatively you do have a good case. I would like first, however, to have a look at your credentials. Rumour has it that you worked in a chicken farm last year and stole several hundred chickens by storing them in your numerous bra pockets. And all the while you had the potential to steal not hundreds, but thousands!! These do not sound like the actions of a master criminal. Your Marmite addiction is noted. I myself am an avid fan of the black gooey substance. Roll on 2027!

    On the matter of my subtle chicken smuggling, I worked for the ECR (Elite Chicken Rescuers) over the summer and went undercover, using the assumed name of Miss Frickels, to investigate a chicken abuse complaint. Well, it turned out that the owner of said chicken farm was selling those poor creatures to sadistic fowl enthusiasts, who where experimenting on the chickens, and attempting to create a transmutation gas, that when inhaled, would turn the breather into a chicken-like mutant.

    Well, of course, this was illegal according to section 3.5 of the Fowl Crimes law handbook, so, I carried out a chicken liberation mission via the method you mentioned. However, because it was to be, by order of my superiors, a clandestine mission, to some extent, I was obliged to smuggle the chickens in small quantities so as to not awake suspicion. Beings the plan was formulated by none other than the illustrious personage, Monsieur X, (who I can not name in this interview for reasons that involve pickled onions, molt vinegar, and certain agencies who would like to possess the two things just named) the plan was impeccable, and was, therefore, a success. The chickens where rescued and the world was saved.

    Now, for your further information, and for the purpose of possibly furthering the noticeability of my application, I am currently involved in a second smuggling operation. This one, however, involves the gooey substance we both know and love, and certain hidden compartments attached to the chassis of shipping lorries in the country of Yugoslavia.
    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
    -Albert Einstein
  • edited 03.09.2014
    Do you have an epic wing? :-P
  • edited 03.09.2014
    hmmm, Lets say I have 11 chickens in the back garden and I'm willing to make an offer...
  • Urúvion (US1)Urúvion (US1) Posts: 13,858
    edited 04.09.2014
    SwayerEon wrote: »
    hmmm, Lets say I have 11 chickens in the back garden and I'm willing to make an offer...

    11 Chickens? Oh no no no no no, you underestimate the power of the Epicness eating brigade, they be hardcore munchers. . . . . 300 Chickens, at least. I don't think they'll settle for less if my calcalculations are correct, and they are, because they involve Marmite, and anything involving Marmite is correct.
    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
    -Albert Einstein
  • edited 04.09.2014
    anything involving marmite is correct- your logic is unsurpassable sir for marmite is the truest of all the condiments, even surpassing the mighty tartar sauce and the humble heinz ketchup, 8-B
  • Urúvion (US1)Urúvion (US1) Posts: 13,858
    edited 04.09.2014
    SwayerEon wrote: »
    anything involving marmite is correct- your logic is unsurpassable sir for marmite is the truest of all the condiments, even surpassing the mighty tartar sauce and the humble heinz ketchup, 8-B

    Ahh, undoubtedly, undoubtedly, my good man. I like your thinking, thou hast a sharp mind and an ample knowledge of the finer points of condiments. Tell me, where didst thou acquire such knowledge? And pray, do you now anything concerning the varying temperamental stages of Gray Poupon?
    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
    -Albert Einstein
  • edited 04.09.2014
    but of course... gray poup-on my sandwich, poup-on the carpet, poup-on captured in the tub, poup-on the floor-blame the dog, poup-on, the finest, poup-on the cleaning equipment, gray is very temperamental and poup-on everything and everyone- tastes nice with a bit of smuggled chicken though yummmeee...
  • Sam4 (GB1)Sam4 (GB1) Posts: 464
    edited 07.09.2014
    SwayerEon wrote: »
    but of course... gray poup-on my sandwich, poup-on the carpet, poup-on captured in the tub, poup-on the floor-blame the dog, poup-on, the finest, poup-on the cleaning equipment, gray is very temperamental and poup-on everything and everyone- tastes nice with a bit of smuggled chicken though yummmeee...

    aidan952 wrote: »
    Ahh, undoubtedly, undoubtedly, my good man. I like your thinking, thou hast a sharp mind and an ample knowledge of the finer points of condiments. Tell me, where didst thou acquire such knowledge? And pray, do you now anything concerning the varying temperamental stages of Gray Poupon?

    What on earth are you people going on about. I will no have such nonsense on my thread. OUT! OUT! Unless you want to stay, which of course is fine also. I cannot force you to hand over your cash, unless you move with me to the moon. Which is lawless. And in which case I will take your cash. And your families. But only if you bring them with you (I advise against it).

    The High Master of Soft Cheese
    Sam4 - Leader of EPICNESS @UK1
  • Ollie2220Ollie2220 Posts: 78
    edited 07.09.2014
    Seriously guys this thread is about recruitment? And i'm offically demoted to recruiter, so you wanna chat about sauces? You wanna chat about Bio-Medical Sciences (oh wow such), then go for it. But be prepared to feel the pain. The pain of being slowly stared to slight discomfort!!!!!

    Anyone wanna join? First person to message me or respond on here gets a place in Epicness.

    Bonzai
    of6per.png


    "Epicness are the most consistent of the top ten alliances despite having less players I don't remember them being outside the top ten. Epicness are known for there sense of humour." - Batten, The Syndicate.

    "Epicness is the best non-max player alliance on the server, with great and hilarious members." - JimboJetset, BSK.
  • Urúvion (US1)Urúvion (US1) Posts: 13,858
    edited 07.09.2014
    Sam4 wrote: »
    What on earth are you people going on about. I will no have such nonsense on my thread. OUT! OUT! Unless you want to stay, which of course is fine also. I cannot force you to hand over your cash, unless you move with me to the moon. Which is lawless. And in which case I will take your cash. And your families. But only if you bring them with you (I advise against it).

    The High Master of Soft Cheese

    Well, I don't have the slightest recollection of any of this. You see, after consuming large quantities of apple sauce, I go into a cucumber-like trance, and whilst in this trance, I rave about condiments and such.

    Where am I anyway?
    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
    -Albert Einstein
  • Sam4 (GB1)Sam4 (GB1) Posts: 464
    edited 08.09.2014
    aidan952 wrote: »
    Well, I don't have the slightest recollection of any of this. You see, after consuming large quantities of apple sauce, I go into a cucumber-like trance, and whilst in this trance, I rave about condiments and such.

    Where am I anyway?

    In all honesty I am overly content with regard to your explanation - a state of mind which will undoubtedly cause me to send myself to my overpaid shrink at some point in the next 48 hours. Something isn't right in my head and I believe it to be your fault. I have no proof of course - and therefore the only way to prove you to be guilty is to find you guilty. Therefore you are from now on, guilty.

    I did do a slight bit of research into apple sauce, and discovered it is actually a hallucinogenic. I won't mention that when I say 'hallucinogenic', I am implying that you are taking drugs - in the case I offend anyone for discussing Illegal adult business. You being part of the illegal adult business in the taking of your apple sauce however makes me feel slightly less guilty for explaining to you that apple sauce is a hallucinogenic and therefore is banned under section 3 paragraph 5 of the Cultist Renegades vs the State of New Nevada legal coop in which 7 cultist bowmen were brutally murdered in cold blood. If you are caught with such a substance in my alliance, you will be demoted, the substance passed onto me (which I will not hesitate to make full use of), and will be rewarded by the forced action of hanging your head in shame for a brief 32 years and 13 months.

    The High Lord of Mayonnaise and Toes.
    Sam4 - Leader of EPICNESS @UK1
  • Urúvion (US1)Urúvion (US1) Posts: 13,858
    edited 08.09.2014
    Sam4 wrote: »
    In all honesty I am overly content with regard to your explanation - a state of mind which will undoubtedly cause me to send myself to my overpaid shrink at some point in the next 48 hours. Something isn't right in my head and I believe it to be your fault. I have no proof of course - and therefore the only way to prove you to be guilty is to find you guilty. Therefore you are from now on, guilty.

    I did do a slight bit of research into apple sauce, and discovered it is actually a hallucinogenic. I won't mention that when I say 'hallucinogenic', I am implying that you are taking drugs - in the case I offend anyone for discussing Illegal adult business. You being part of the illegal adult business in the taking of your apple sauce however makes me feel slightly less guilty for explaining to you that apple sauce is a hallucinogenic and therefore is banned under section 3 paragraph 5 of the Cultist Renegades vs the State of New Nevada legal coop in which 7 cultist bowmen were brutally murdered in cold blood. If you are caught with such a substance in my alliance, you will be demoted, the substance passed onto me (which I will not hesitate to make full use of), and will be rewarded by the forced action of hanging your head in shame for a brief 32 years and 13 months.

    The High Lord of Mayonnaise and Toes.

    To put it bluntly, my compatriots (most namely the ones specifically growing from the same potato plant as myself) have been attempting to convince me that apple sauce is bad for my numerous eyes. I, personally, do not buy into this story, I believe they may be trying to acquire the sauced apple for their own purposes.

    As for being guilty, I completely confess to being the cause of the left-ness in your head, I fear that I may have altered your inner humors, slightly, and it possibly may have been on purpose. You see, my presence seems to stimulate the left side of the brain, which is why you don't feel right, because, in short, you are left.

    Pray, do you have the urge to calculate the mass of celestial bodies when in my presence?
    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
    -Albert Einstein
  • marc58 (GB1)marc58 (GB1) GB1 Posts: 836
    edited 11.09.2014
    Ahh get it now we have to add it on here Ah the old switcheroo

    Great stuff, not sure I can tho but will try good luck
  • edited 11.09.2014
    Who dares claim to be the high master of soft cheese?
    Bring them here that I might stuff them with brie and feta.
  • Ollie2220Ollie2220 Posts: 78
    edited 11.09.2014
    Ah the old switcheroo
    of6per.png


    "Epicness are the most consistent of the top ten alliances despite having less players I don't remember them being outside the top ten. Epicness are known for there sense of humour." - Batten, The Syndicate.

    "Epicness is the best non-max player alliance on the server, with great and hilarious members." - JimboJetset, BSK.
  • Sam4 (GB1)Sam4 (GB1) Posts: 464
    edited 11.09.2014
    marc582 wrote: »
    Ahh get it now we have to add it on here Ah the old switcheroo

    Great stuff, not sure I can tho but will try good luck

    Ah the old switcheroo
    Ollie2220 wrote: »
    Ah the old switcheroo

    Ah the old switcheroo
    Sam4 - Leader of EPICNESS @UK1
  • edited 11.09.2014
    switcher who?
  • Sam4 (GB1)Sam4 (GB1) Posts: 464
    edited 12.09.2014
    SwayerEon wrote: »
    switcher who?

    Ah the old buckeroo.
    Sam4 - Leader of EPICNESS @UK1
  • marc58 (GB1)marc58 (GB1) GB1 Posts: 836
    edited 12.09.2014
    Sam4 wrote: »
    Ah the old buckeroo.

    Now that's a game and it don't cost Rubies

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