The Daily Spud - NEWS - on discord https://discord.com/channels/820962964391198741/11236309348314154

GeorgenollieUse · 22.06.2014

**wanders in and looks at the dust accumulating on her desk**

Hmmm, looks like it has been a while since I have been in the office . . .

Seems like I have been enjoying the clear and sunny weather too much . . . there are so many good swimming spots around. Guess I will go see if I can round up a good story. After I clean up in here first . . .

freerange (US1) · 23.06.2014

Solar Eclipse Creates Panic

There was widespread panic today when the farm was plunged into darkness by a solar eclipse. Several large objects in the sky blotted out the sun and even covered parts of the farm. Used to clear and sunny conditions, the workers were beside themselves with terror. On the main farm they all tried to jam into the Nursery or clustered in fear around the dim blue glow of the Ancient relic. On the flower farm the Distillery was packed and families clung to each other around the flame of the Lava spring. Brave Professor Crackpot raced out to the telescope to see what was causing the problem. He was heard shouting, "Ouch!" and then, "I don't need Super humus and a Barley handbook! I need a tiki torch!" Meanwhile on the Gourmet farm the workers remained relatively calm. Having survived worse, they gathered in the tea houses or chatted around the fence lights and lampposts.

Mayor Monei is now being declared an enlightened visionary. Workers are embracing his emergency preparedness plan. Main farm residents are demanding a variety of Rope lights. Flower farmers have requested Antique lampposts and a lighted Bridge. But despite Mayor Monei's current popularity, questions are already being asked. Why did only the Gourmet farm get premium lighting? Silo Sam was heard grumbling, "It's just like politicians to leave you in the dark while their special interest groups get all the perks."

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 23.06.2014

Shocking news for the BIG Farm community! Our children are missing! Most of our farms have treehouses, playgrounds, swings, and seesaws. Where are the kids? I thought they were with you!
Although we have the naughty and nice boys, they've never been inside my fence. They're always standing out in the field all day selling their pranks and gifts. Those kids have jobs and no time to play. So where could all those little scamps be? I promise everyone that I won't leave any stone unturned until I get to the bottom of this! X(

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 25.06.2014

farmerjohn 22 wrote: »

Our children are missing! Where are the kids?

Farmer John, perhaps I can help answer your question as to the whereabouts of Big Farm's children. Professor Chester P. Crackpot here! 8o As you recall, I am thoroughly convinced that Big Farm is not on Earth. This lack of children is merely the result of the highly unusual conditions which exist on this planet. Apparently human reproduction has come to a screeching halt here, while animal populations explode. How else could you explain the large number of eggs and pigs produced in so little time? And talk about PANDAS! On Earth, they are extremely rare, yet here they are quite common! But on the bright side of this is the fact that the aging process is also halted for humanity here! We are for the most part immortal on this planet! Well, at least I think so. :huh: Hope this helps clear things up for you Farmer John!

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 25.06.2014

Phew!!! Boy, that's a relief! I sure appreciate your help in this matter, Professor. And I'm also pretty doggone happy we don't have a lot of kids. As much as I love children, just imagine their whining added to the dog's! 8|

freerange (US1) · 01.07.2014

Aliens Implicated in Ham Heist!

The most recent search for alien activity has uncovered startling evidence. Thanks to improved photographic and lighting equipment, we can now clearly see that many of our pigs have a large green alien hand print on their sides. When we consulted Porcine Pete for an expert opinion he decried, "Those aliens have been purloining our pork!" Apparently the aliens have been using specially adapted fingers to first inject a sedative and then suction the fat right out of the side of the pig. I attempted to communicate with the aliens using the Ancient relic, but I could not make heads or curly tails of their response, "eWay oveLay aconBay!" The pigs seem unharmed by the process. Many of them actually enjoy showing off their svelte new figures by sporting skimpy swimwear on their Seven Seas cruise with Captain Barnacle. There is however one unfortunate exception. Piggles is apparently allergic to the alien sedative and requires frequent treatment with herbs to recover from the ordeal.

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 01.07.2014

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CLEAR AND SUNNY!......And so dry that my ornamental tree

is following my dog around!

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Earthy3 · 01.07.2014

Are Aliens Stealing Our Bacon?!

After deep consideration on the thought we have come to the conclusions that aliens come to steal our bacon. When approached by the idea the aliens denied everything "We are what you call vegetarians this planet" but their mouths full of canines told me otherwise. Judging by the aliens tracks popping up all over the farm they spend a good amount of time searching for the pigs and suck the bacon out leaving behind an alien print in the pigs.
We finally have the answers as to why we don't get bacon
Next up, wheres our hamburgers?!

Signing Off

Sue-ana (US1) · 02.07.2014

I love the stories you have all reported laughing so hard here. Wait I do think I see a dark cloud in the far distance on my farm?? Could it be so? Keep up the good work there are many stories yet to be told just look around your farms. From camping to aliens to fairytales and everything in between The Daily Spud will keep you updated and informed. Aparently the rumor about no bacon having something to do with pigs is true because two seperate reporters have reported it. There are many questions to be answered and many problems to be solved on the farms.
Great Work Team
Ths is Sue-ana for the Daily Spud

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 03.07.2014

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CLEAR AND SUNNY!.....A cold glass of lemonade anyone? 8)

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All4Fun (US1) · 03.07.2014

I love this thread :P, so funny

WEATHER UPDATE!!!
Windy, very very windy

*Suddenly launched in air by high winds*

"Everything looks so tiny from up here... oh look! Birds!"

Algerhugz (US1) · 04.07.2014

Hello Daily Spud Readers, Algerhugz here reporting live from the VW Beetle. It seems the crazy bee lady has lost her bees again. Reports are coming in that they are being found on farm crops. So please be safe while out harvesting especially if you are allergic to bee stings, be sure to have your epi pen with you and seek medical attention asap if stung. Thankfully tho for the most part honey bees are docile and will not attack unless highly provoked.

Again everyone be safe and have a great day out there.
Algerhugz Signing off

awerick2 · 10.07.2014

Hey, it's the county inspector here, Greef, my name. I'm here to inspect the sudden lack of articles in The Daily Spud. It was the best paper in big farm until it stopped writing 6 days ago. Our local weatherman, FamerJohn, is known to be forgetful, but 6 days. Every other reporter isn't forgetful. What happened to the news. Here's some articles for you:

1.The new achievements
2.New Machines
3.Cooperative rewards

Also, one of my colleagues hinted a new wheel of fortune was coming. So let's go, Daily Spud, or I ,ight have to close you down.

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 10.07.2014

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CLEAR AND SUNNY!(Get it?) ^^

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farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 16.07.2014

Good day, Big Farmers! Professor Chester P. Crackpot here! 8o It has recently come to my attention that we will soon be flying off to a tropical island aboard an airplane which is to depart from our new Airport. But this raises a question: Why do we even need a plane to get there? As you well know, we are able to move from farm to farm using a far more advanced technology.
What am I talking about? Teleportation! Most likely acquired from our alien friends. Even Captain Barnacle seems to have gotten his hands on this device and is capable of teleporting his entire ship! So why the airplane flight? Nostalgia? It certainly seems like a step backwards for us, don't you think? I shall continue to gather data until I can find the answer. Professor Crackpot is on the job! Good day to you all!

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 18.07.2014

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CLEAR AND SUNNY!.......Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet.

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System · 18.07.2014

Hey! It's the funny farm love news here bringing you live on the latest happenings. There has been a commotion about the chickens. It seems like the chickens are flying every where around the farms but they have to get rid of wastes and it seems like their wastes are dropping down on the farms. I don't think the cows and pigs like this. I am going to interview them later but that's it for now. Funny farm love news bringing you live on the latest commotions.

daine3 · 18.07.2014

lol this is so funny best news I ever heard llllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllll

System · 18.07.2014

I have just interviewed a pig here and he says he was in love with one of the chickens but now they have turned against all of the other animals. Romeo here says his Juilet is innocent and he things it is the work of the bad guys that caused all of this. Stay tuned for more on Funny farm love news.

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 18.07.2014

"The Daily Spud" is for all to enjoy and contribute their stories to. But the main topic of this thread is news of the day in the game, (with a creative slant). Please try to go with this theme and you can have a lot of fun right along with us. Thanks!

System · 18.07.2014

Okay:D

It's getting windy out here. I think a storm is coming in.

Is that okay:D

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 18.07.2014

Sure, it's okay, but I hope you don't try to take away my job as weatherman for Big Farm! On second thought, go right ahead if you think you can be as accurate. But I gotta warn you, the paper doesn't pay a whole lot! lol ^^

System · 18.07.2014

No, i won't take i'm just going to say based on what I can see at the moment.

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 22.07.2014

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CLEAR AND SUNNY!.....And not a sharknado in sight!

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daine3 · 23.07.2014

lol...............

Rusty Farmer (AU1) · 24.07.2014

In BREAKING news...Donkeys are depressed.

Rusty Famer reporting here that there is no hee-hawing with these relatively new Big Farm creatures. According to sources - or is that sauces - the donkeys have no perceived main purpose on the farm, they just stand around dropping excrement. One donkey complained "There's not much to look forward to each day. Occasionally some of us get shipped off God knows where but that's about all the excitement we know. There is no project for us to be involved in, and we don't even get to haul anything around like our ancestors did. You know, there's a lot of abandoned deco just lying about of no use - we could move some of that to another farm but the owners won't have a bar of it."

In fact, some of them are so depressed, they wouldn't mind ending it all by being part of a bakery stew. "At least this would give our life some meaning", another donkey was heard to whimper.

It's not just the donkeys that have this problem, pigs don't seem to do much either, and they've been around for a lot longer.

Rumour has it the donkeys and pigs are getting their heads together to do something special, and make themselves useful. Maybe that will cheer everyone up.

This reporter for one can't wait to see what they come up with.

Rusty Famer, reporting from deep within the mire of Big Farm.

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 24.07.2014

Great report, Rusty! I've always been a little suspicious of those donkeys and pigs. Something smells funny, and it ain't dung! :pinch:

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 30.07.2014

8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)

CLEAR AND SUNNY!........Welcome to the island! :thumbup:
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freerange (US1) · 02.08.2014

Personal ad:

Wanna enjoy a nice Fruity Flip? Tall pale freakishly thin farm hand seeks island girl for 30 day whirlwind romance. Must have high tolerance for smell of dung. Send postcard 2 Silo Sam.

farmerjohn 22 (US1) · 02.08.2014

COMING SOON!
8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)8)

Would you like to spend the day on a sunny beach with a cold drink in your hand? Now you can! This special offer is exclusive to those who play Big Farm! That's right! Now for a short time (30 days) you can take the trip of a lifetime! A tropical paradise awaits you! So get ready and we will whisk you away from the dreary day to day toil of life on the farm. (For more details, see Official Announcements)

The Daily Spud - NEWS - on discord https://discord.com/channels/820962964391198741/11236309348314154

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