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Jokeland

11416

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  • seriscoolseriscool Posts: 2,026
    edited 25.03.2014
    :D good one swats!!!!!

    read this one

    the roar of the Niagara falls is so loud that even supersonic jets cannot be heard!!!!!
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    now i request the ladies to stop chatting so that we can hear the Niagara falls!!!!
    monarch-butterfly.jpg

    "Just when the caterpillar thought that the world was over......it became a butterfly"

    seriscool @ in 1
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 26.03.2014
    nice one sera awesome :p :) ;)

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  • Mad Bunny (IN1)Mad Bunny (IN1) Posts: 1,506IN1
    edited 27.03.2014
    Ha-ha! Nice one Swati didi
    Mad Bunny || Blogger || Vlogger || Coder || InfoSec Researcher || Gamer
  • seriscoolseriscool Posts: 2,026
    edited 27.03.2014
    lady 1- i made my husband a millionaire

    lady 2- really.......what was he before he met u????

    lady 1- a multi-millionaire!!!! :)

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    monarch-butterfly.jpg

    "Just when the caterpillar thought that the world was over......it became a butterfly"

    seriscool @ in 1
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 27.03.2014
    What's the height of hope??
    It is:
    sitting in the exam hall,
    holding the question paper in hand
    and telling yourself
    “dude,don't worry.
    Exams will get postponed!”


    thanks viif and i m ur didi/ ? :p it's ok
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • ezio auditore3ezio auditore3 Posts: 2,399
    edited 27.03.2014
    There are 2 men talking

    1st person: Dude! I almost had her phone number but then I made a Joke about the pope and she got angry :(
    2nd person: You idiot! Didn't you know she was Catholic???
    1st person: I did but I didn't know that the pope was :p
    Beware of "THE DARK SIDE"...(en 1):):):)
    Are you on US1, EN1 or NL1 and do you want to learn what a co-op is all about? Or do you simply want to complete the co-op task? Try the training co-op! (click here)
    Contact support here
    Larino has an mazing website full of amazing tricks and tips. All you need to do is click here
    A Big farm wiki made by our very own Katnip.That can be found here


    25iuadh.jpg
    Thanks Manish!
  • seriscoolseriscool Posts: 2,026
    edited 28.03.2014
    :D really good ones, ezio and swati!!!!

    epitaph on the grave of a dentist...... "this is the last cavity he filled......" :p
    monarch-butterfly.jpg

    "Just when the caterpillar thought that the world was over......it became a butterfly"

    seriscool @ in 1
  • partymelonpartymelon Posts: 29
    edited 28.03.2014
    Marriage is like a deck of cards.
    In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond but by the end you wish u had a club and a spade.
    Honest politicians are like UFOs. Most people believe that there must be some out there somewhere, but nobody has yet been able to prove their existence.
    ......................................................................[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]...........................................................

    Wait, I'm confused.......maybe I'm not......or am I?
  • seriscoolseriscool Posts: 2,026
    edited 29.03.2014
    husband: honey! why r u wearing ur ring in the wrong finger?????

    wife: because i married the wrong man???
    monarch-butterfly.jpg

    "Just when the caterpillar thought that the world was over......it became a butterfly"

    seriscool @ in 1
  • wahaj23wahaj23 Posts: 592
    edited 29.03.2014
    Questions Answered

    A man opened a booth with a sign above it: Two Questions on any subject answered for 100 silver coins.

    A man came and handed over 100 silver coins saying: "A 100 silver coins are expensive for just two questions aren't they?" The man replied: "Yes, and the next question?"

    Identification

    A man goes to into a bank to have withdraw money. "Can you identify yourself?" The clerk asked
    The man brings out a mirror and peers into it, "Yep, that's me alright."

    I

    Teacher: Make a sentence starting with I.
    Student: I is...
    Teacher: No, no, no, don't say "I is", say I only goes with am say "I am".
    Student: Ok, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

    Tough Day

    Son: I had a tough day at office.
    Mother: At the office?
    Son: Yes, at the principal's office.
    Wahaj3 @ US1, Member of Super Awesome
    Wahaj3 @ In1, Member of The Canterville
  • borana albania (INT1)borana albania (INT1) Posts: 1,945
    edited 19.04.2014
    heyyy i told you that i'm going to be there in 5 minutes, you dont have why to call me every half an hour !!!:D


     :#  Stay positive :p

  • SCARlett_EmpSCARlett_Emp Posts: 3
    edited 10.05.2014
    Yesterday, my 12 year old brother and i were talking about joker, the villain in batman. my six year old brother got scared because my 12 year old brother mentioned something about joker killing people because he's a saddist. he knew he would get in trouble for scaring my six year old brother, so to cover it up:

    he said, "no, the joker doesn't kill people. he only says boring old jokes that are lame!"
    i said, "actually his jokes are hilarious. people DIE laughing!"
    he said, "his jokes make people want to run away,"
    i said, "their souls LITERALLY flee their bodies!"
    he said, "he doesn't even look scary, just some lousy clown,"
    i said, "actually, his looks PRACTICALLY took people's breath away!"
    he said, "why can't you be serious!?"
    i said, "can't you see my face? it's seriously LIFELESS!"

    My six year old brother punched me, and i was laughing for six hours straight.

    My twelve year old brother's last reply before he decided to ignore me for the rest of my life, "and i thought joker was the saddist."

    Just something lame but memorable that happened in my life.
    SCARlett_Emp @ au 1
  • nabiya82nabiya82 Posts: 3
    edited 14.05.2014
    good.............:)
    nabiya8 @ in 1
  • nabiya82nabiya82 Posts: 3
    edited 14.05.2014
    hmmm good :-)
    nabiya8 @ in 1
  • awerick2awerick2 Posts: 356
    edited 28.05.2014
    Five things needed to survive:

    1. Computer
    2. Phone
    3. TV
    4. Tablet
    5. Internet
    awerick @ us 1
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    YEAH!
  • savanna951savanna951 Posts: 56
    edited 29.05.2014
    With tears in his eyes, the little boy told his kindergarten teacher that only one pair of boots was left in the classroom and they weren’t his.

    The teacher searched and searched, but she couldn’t find any other boots. “Are you sure these boots aren’t yours?” – she asked.

    “I’m sure,” the little boy sobbed. “Mine had snow on them.”
    savanna951 @ us 1
  • awerick2awerick2 Posts: 356
    edited 29.05.2014
    savanna951 wrote: »
    With tears in his eyes, the little boy told his kindergarten teacher that only one pair of boots was left in the classroom and they weren’t his.

    The teacher searched and searched, but she couldn’t find any other boots. “Are you sure these boots aren’t yours?” – she asked.

    “I’m sure,” the little boy sobbed. “Mine had snow on them.”

    That is so funny!!!
    awerick @ us 1
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    YEAH!
  • savanna951savanna951 Posts: 56
    edited 30.05.2014
    During Show and Tell, Miss Johnson showed pictures of different birds.

    “George,” she said, “what kind of bird do you like best?”

    George thought for a while. “Fried chicken,” he replied.
    savanna951 @ us 1
  • savanna951savanna951 Posts: 56
    edited 30.05.2014
    I know your going to like this one:

    A lady comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone.

    “Please state the nature of your emergency,” says the operator.
    “Help! My house is on fire!” – the lady replies.
    “Okay, where do you live?”
    “In a house you silly billy!” – the lady replies.
    “No, no! How do we get there?” – the operator asks fustratedly.
    “Duh! Big Red Truck!!”

    and here is another one:A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!”

    The doctor replied, “Show me.”

    So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again.

    She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
    :D
    savanna951 @ us 1
  • mick6 (AU1)mick6 (AU1) Posts: 158
    edited 31.05.2014
    what do you call me fly with no wings ???


    a walk..
    mick6 @ au 1
  • awerick2awerick2 Posts: 356
    edited 31.05.2014
    How do you get out a doorless room?

    You use the window.
    awerick @ us 1
    awerick @ us 1
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    YEAH!
  • Anthem GirlAnthem Girl Posts: 68
    edited 31.05.2014
    Blonde: " What does IDK stand for?"
    Brunet: " I don't know.
    Blonde: " OMG, nobody does!!!"

    another one:

    A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. he told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said "yes,no,yes,no,yes,no yes,...."

    Anthem Girl AKA: Nik,
  • awerick2awerick2 Posts: 356
    edited 31.05.2014
    A pelican was trying to fly with a turtle, but the turtle was too slow and the pelican turtled into the water which had more turtles.
    awerick @ us 1
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    YEAH!
  • Anthem GirlAnthem Girl Posts: 68
    edited 01.06.2014
    lol have to admit yes it was I was gut rolling!! lol still chuckling

    Free popcorn!! lol
    Anthem Girl AKA: Nik,
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 01.06.2014
    savanna ur jokes are really funny.....i liked all :) :) gr8 job

    now mine one :-

    Killing English

    1) Santa tells Banta: First I will marry my sister. Then my father will marry me.
    2) Principal to student: Why do you keep rotating near girl's hostel.
    3) Teacher to student: Pick up the paper and fall in dustbin.
    4) Don't laugh, otherwise I'll fall down your teeth.
    5) Principal was taking round of school. Seeing the principal passing by, teacher said: Keep quiet students. The principal is just passed away.
    6) Can you hang this calendar. Don't worry otherwise I'll hang myself.
    7) Hi, my name is Sangeeta, married with two kids.
    8) Man tells his friend: My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter.
    9) Why are you looking at monkeys outside when I am in class.
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  • nabiya8 (IN1)nabiya8 (IN1) Posts: 2
    edited 03.06.2014
    Life before Computer:

    .

    .

    .

    .

    . . .

    .

    .

    .

    -Window was a square hole in a room.. .

    -Application was something written in paper..

    . -Mouse was an animal..

    .

    -Keyboard was a Piano.. .

    -File was a important office material..

    . -Hard Drive was a uncomfortable road trip..

    .

    -Cut was done with Knife n Paste was done with

    Glue..

    . -Web was spider’s home.. -Virus was flu..

    .

    -Apple and Blackberry were just fruits…
    ....* NABIYA*........
  • Anthem GirlAnthem Girl Posts: 68
    edited 03.06.2014
    lol very true..
    Anthem Girl AKA: Nik,
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 03.06.2014
    nice one nabiya :) :thumbup::thumbup:

    now mine ---
    Mom to son in
    17th century: Son, marry a girl of your own caste only.
    18th century: Son, marry a girl of your status.
    19th century: Son, marry a girl from our religion only.
    20th century: Son, marry a girl from our country only.
    21st century: Son, marry a girl only.
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  • Anthem GirlAnthem Girl Posts: 68
    edited 06.06.2014
    Nice one for you all, and stuff good job!!
    Anthem Girl AKA: Nik,
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 07.06.2014
    :)
    Santa and Banta were studying late night. Their watch was not working.
    Santa: What is the time? Banta picks up a stone and throws it to the gate of neighbour's house. A lady from neighbour's house shouted: You fools, it is 3 'o clock. Why don't you sleep?
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