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the roar of the Niagara falls is so loud that even supersonic jets cannot be heard!!!!!
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now i request the ladies to stop chatting so that we can hear the Niagara falls!!!!
lady 2- really.......what was he before he met u????
lady 1- a multi-millionaire!!!!
It is:
sitting in the exam hall,
holding the question paper in hand
and telling yourself
“dude,don't worry.
Exams will get postponed!”
thanks viif and i m ur didi/ ? it's ok
1st person: Dude! I almost had her phone number but then I made a Joke about the pope and she got angry
2nd person: You idiot! Didn't you know she was Catholic???
1st person: I did but I didn't know that the pope was
epitaph on the grave of a dentist...... "this is the last cavity he filled......"
In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond but by the end you wish u had a club and a spade.
wife: because i married the wrong man???
A man opened a booth with a sign above it: Two Questions on any subject answered for 100 silver coins.
A man came and handed over 100 silver coins saying: "A 100 silver coins are expensive for just two questions aren't they?" The man replied: "Yes, and the next question?"
Identification
A man goes to into a bank to have withdraw money. "Can you identify yourself?" The clerk asked
The man brings out a mirror and peers into it, "Yep, that's me alright."
I
Teacher: Make a sentence starting with I.
Student: I is...
Teacher: No, no, no, don't say "I is", say I only goes with am say "I am".
Student: Ok, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Tough Day
Son: I had a tough day at office.
Mother: At the office?
Son: Yes, at the principal's office.
he said, "no, the joker doesn't kill people. he only says boring old jokes that are lame!"
i said, "actually his jokes are hilarious. people DIE laughing!"
he said, "his jokes make people want to run away,"
i said, "their souls LITERALLY flee their bodies!"
he said, "he doesn't even look scary, just some lousy clown,"
i said, "actually, his looks PRACTICALLY took people's breath away!"
he said, "why can't you be serious!?"
i said, "can't you see my face? it's seriously LIFELESS!"
My six year old brother punched me, and i was laughing for six hours straight.
My twelve year old brother's last reply before he decided to ignore me for the rest of my life, "and i thought joker was the saddist."
Just something lame but memorable that happened in my life.
1. Computer
2. Phone
3. TV
4. Tablet
5. Internet
The teacher searched and searched, but she couldn’t find any other boots. “Are you sure these boots aren’t yours?” – she asked.
“I’m sure,” the little boy sobbed. “Mine had snow on them.”
That is so funny!!!
“George,” she said, “what kind of bird do you like best?”
George thought for a while. “Fried chicken,” he replied.
A lady comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone.
“Please state the nature of your emergency,” says the operator.
“Help! My house is on fire!” – the lady replies.
“Okay, where do you live?”
“In a house you silly billy!” – the lady replies.
“No, no! How do we get there?” – the operator asks fustratedly.
“Duh! Big Red Truck!!”
and here is another one:A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!”
The doctor replied, “Show me.”
So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again.
She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
a walk..
You use the window.
Brunet: " I don't know.
Blonde: " OMG, nobody does!!!"
another one:
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. he told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said "yes,no,yes,no,yes,no yes,...."
Free popcorn!! lol
now mine one :-
Killing English
1) Santa tells Banta: First I will marry my sister. Then my father will marry me.
2) Principal to student: Why do you keep rotating near girl's hostel.
3) Teacher to student: Pick up the paper and fall in dustbin.
4) Don't laugh, otherwise I'll fall down your teeth.
5) Principal was taking round of school. Seeing the principal passing by, teacher said: Keep quiet students. The principal is just passed away.
6) Can you hang this calendar. Don't worry otherwise I'll hang myself.
7) Hi, my name is Sangeeta, married with two kids.
8) Man tells his friend: My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter.
9) Why are you looking at monkeys outside when I am in class.
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-Window was a square hole in a room.. .
-Application was something written in paper..
. -Mouse was an animal..
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-Keyboard was a Piano.. .
-File was a important office material..
. -Hard Drive was a uncomfortable road trip..
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-Cut was done with Knife n Paste was done with
Glue..
. -Web was spider’s home.. -Virus was flu..
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-Apple and Blackberry were just fruits…
now mine ---
Mom to son in
17th century: Son, marry a girl of your own caste only.
18th century: Son, marry a girl of your status.
19th century: Son, marry a girl from our religion only.
20th century: Son, marry a girl from our country only.
21st century: Son, marry a girl only.
Santa and Banta were studying late night. Their watch was not working.
Santa: What is the time? Banta picks up a stone and throws it to the gate of neighbour's house. A lady from neighbour's house shouted: You fools, it is 3 'o clock. Why don't you sleep?