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Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Santa: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Fill in the blanks.
"Well", he replies," My main weakness is that I sometimes have difficulty separating fantasy from reality".
"I see", says the interviewer,"Now what are your main strengths?"
"I'm BATMAN! 8o
A boy was cycling inside a park and his mother was seeing him in every round he returns.He says in: 1st round:Mom see I am cycling;2nd round:Mom see I am one wheeling;3rd round(crying):Mom see I am...;(...Cycling with two teeth missing.
__________________________________________^^_____________________________________________
It is beautiful to live life beside of love
..............................................................^^aya^^
good good eishah
Edit by PINJO: merged posts, please use edit button
"Maybe you caught a rabbit and ate it?" suggested Stiles.
"Raw!" gasped a shocked Scott.
"No, you are suppose to bake it in your special werewolf oven..." Stiles
Adapted from Teen Wolf
-rata2
[h=3]Time-Travel Joke[/h]
Q: What's a light-year?
A: It's just like a regular year, but with fewer calories.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5am, loaded the pigs into the station wagon and drove the 30 miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're in the grass in the morning, they're pregnant, if they're in the mud, they're not." The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the station wagon and proceeded to try again.
This continued each morning for more than a week, until one morning the farmer was so tired, he couldn't get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or the grass."
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."
My wife and I had another big arguement last night, BUT, this time she came crawling to me on her hands and knees!
Astonished, the friend asks:
Wow-What did she say?
Man answers:
She said "Get out from under that bed, you coward!"
Liam: OK, then where do we get carbonite?
Stiles: Seriously? You haven't seen any either?
-Taken from Teen Wolf
" Maybe we should change our signs to say "BRIDGE OUT!".
Scott McCall: Me?
Stiles: Yes you. Glow your eyes at it. Something. Be the Alpha
And yes, that is from Teen Wolf.
“Hurry, she said, stand in the corner.”
She rubbed Baby Oil all over him, and then totally dusted him all over with Talcum Powder.
“Right, don’t move until I tell you,” she said. “Just pretend you’re a Statue. ’
“What’s this..?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.
“Oh it’s a statue.” she replied. The Smiths bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too.’
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2am the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
“Here,” he said to the statue, “have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.
Sardar: India...
Boss: Which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? My whole body was born in India.
why did the cow cross the road? because it wanted to go to the moooooovies!!!!!
why did the possum cross the road? because it wanted to see its flatmate!!!!
there was a one storey pink house everything was pink, the people were pink, the couch was pink, everything was pink, what colour were the stairs? There were no stairs it was a one storey house!!!!
By Harriet
( please leave a comment! )
my joke
man 1:why isn`t the prime minister not seen in the morning?
man 2: cz he`s the P.M not A.M :P
At the end of the day the supervisor comes over to him and asked the newbie howmany sales he had that day.Full of proudness the newbie told the supervisor he had 1 sale on the whole day,but worth $ 154.000,-
The supervisor asked the newbie what he sold for that amount of money. The newbie started his story what he all sold. 1 a fishinghook,then a fishingpole.But the customer had no boat so he sold him a boat on a trailer,the customer had no big car sold he sold him a big 4x4 truck,safetyvests etc etc..
The supervisor asked the newbie how he could sale all those goods to 1 customer. The newbie says to the supervisor the next. It was very easy,the customer came into the mall and asked for a big pack of sanitairy towels. The newbie responded to the client Why you don,t go fishing after all this will be a lost weekend for you
Police : where do you live?
Me : with my parents
Police : where do your parents live
Me : with me
Police : where do you all live
Me : together
Police : where is you house
Me : next to my neighbors house
Police : where is your neighbors house
Me : you won't believe me if i tell you
Police : tell m
Me : next to my house.
Henry:Can`t we have roast beef instead?
(lol, get it Henry thinks he is eating his Aunt for lunch on Sunday. #ROFL
Only a genious can say
these four words
Four times really fast witout getting tongue twisted
Eye. Yem Stew Peed
1-Dig a hole
2-Name it love
3-watch people fall in love