CrazyBigFarm

Login Problems? Click here for help!

Jokeland

11316

Comments

  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 14.09.2013
    roreta ur last joke was awesome

    and rosy bluey urs also....
    now my joke--
    1999 Kids : I want my bed near Window
    to see the moon&stars.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    2013 Kids : I want my bed near the
    mobile charging slot..


    now another one--
    Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user …
    Help-desk : double click on “My Computer”.
    Lady : I can’t see your computer..
    Help-desk : No .. Click on “My Computer” on your computer.
    Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!
    Help-desk : There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on your computer .. double click on it.
    Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • roreta2roreta2 Posts: 496
    edited 14.09.2013
    hahahahahahahah :D ... greet ones swati and rosey ;) ... see these !!!


    The VP hobbled in to his house and was greeted by his wife.
    “Dear,” she said, startled, “what are you doing home so early?”
    “The boss and I had a fight,” he grumbled. “He would not take back what he said.”
    Glowing with pride, his wife asked, “what did he say?
    The VP shrugged. “You’re fired.”
    ...

    and here is another one :p

    Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

    Q: How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of Real Men around to do it.
    :p:D
  • greyhood2greyhood2 Posts: 4,262
    edited 14.09.2013
    Hahahahahaha Lollzz @swatz and roreta ...:D:D:D
    To get the best out of life,
    Realize your past without regret,
    Handle your present with confidence,
    Prepare for the future without fear.
  • RosyblueyRosybluey Posts: 5
    edited 15.09.2013
    :D:D:D Ty and everyone's jokes are very funny
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]











    rosybluey @ us 1
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 16.09.2013
    wow nice one roreta and thanks grey and roreta and rosybluey..
    now my joke

    As years go,U may loose ur Hair, Teeth &
    Eyesight.But not ur Talent, Brightness &
    Intelligence.
    Bcoz,U can never loose which U don’t have:-D:-P


    now this one for boys...
    Give me some sunshine..!!
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .Give me some rain..!!
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Give me another girlfrnd..!!
    .
    .
    .
    .
    I m single once again..!! :D :v :P
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • Raka3Raka3 Posts: 4,556
    edited 10.10.2013
    how+to+use+chpsticks+funny+cartoon.jpg
    Uhmm...yeah. ^^
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    ~Stick to love, hate is too great a burden to bear~


    ღ Be light!! ღ
    Live. Laugh. Love. <3
  • gizmo22 (AU1)gizmo22 (AU1) Posts: 1,665AU1
    edited 11.10.2013
    A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!'' :p
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] gizmo22 @ au 1
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 11.10.2013
    nice one raka and gizmo.........:)
    A girl realizes the pain of Break-up only when
    ..
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    She has to pay the Pizza bill herself..
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • greyhood2greyhood2 Posts: 4,262
    edited 12.10.2013
    Hahahahaha Lol :D
    To get the best out of life,
    Realize your past without regret,
    Handle your present with confidence,
    Prepare for the future without fear.
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 12.10.2013
    :p

    thanks......
    friends pleas post more and more jokes please :)
    As years go,U may loose ur Hair, Teeth &
    Eyesight.But not ur Talent, Brightness &
    Intelligence.
    Bcoz,U can never loose which U don’t have:-D:-P
    Short But True !!!:p
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • greyhood2greyhood2 Posts: 4,262
    edited 12.10.2013
    Life before Computer:

    .

    .

    .

    .

    . . .

    .

    .

    .

    -Window was a square hole in a room.. .

    -Application was something written in paper..

    . -Mouse was an animal..

    .

    -Keyboard was a Piano.. .

    -File was a important office material..

    . -Hard Drive was a uncomfortable road trip..

    .

    -Cut was done with Knife n Paste was done with

    Glue..

    . -Web was spider’s home.. -Virus was flu..

    .

    -Apple and Blackberry were just fruits…
    To get the best out of life,
    Realize your past without regret,
    Handle your present with confidence,
    Prepare for the future without fear.
  • greyhood2greyhood2 Posts: 4,262
    edited 13.10.2013
    expectations_vs_reality_4.jpg
    To get the best out of life,
    Realize your past without regret,
    Handle your present with confidence,
    Prepare for the future without fear.
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 14.10.2013
    nice one grey......

    funny-husband-wife-best-nice-good-jokes-lunch-shopping.jpg
    this one is nice :p
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • gizmo22 (AU1)gizmo22 (AU1) Posts: 1,665AU1
    edited 28.10.2013
    Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:

    Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
    Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] gizmo22 @ au 1
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 28.10.2013
    :) lol nice one gizmo...
    now mine--
    My SCIENCE book says & i agree..
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    “CELL” is the basic, fundamental unit of life.. :-D :-P
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • gizmo22 (AU1)gizmo22 (AU1) Posts: 1,665AU1
    edited 28.10.2013
    Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.
    After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."

    The first said, "I wish I were smarter."
    So, she became a redhead.

    The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."
    She became a brunette.

    The third blonde ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"
    So, she became a MAN.

    This one could get me in trouble with the women in this forum, oh well! :p lol
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] gizmo22 @ au 1
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 28.10.2013
    lol :p

    When You Really
    Want To Slap Someone,
    Do It And
    Say……
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    ,
    Mosquito. :D:p

    lol i like this one :p
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • gizmo22 (AU1)gizmo22 (AU1) Posts: 1,665AU1
    edited 28.10.2013
    A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

    The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

    "No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] gizmo22 @ au 1
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 30.10.2013
    BOSS to an employee….
    .
    “Do you believe in life after Death?”
    .
    EMPLOYEE…..
    .
    “Certainly not! There’s no proof of it”,
    he replied.
    .
    .
    BOSS: “Well, there is now. After you left
    early yesterday to go to your uncle’s
    funeral, he came here looking for you.

    lol :p
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • gizmo22 (AU1)gizmo22 (AU1) Posts: 1,665AU1
    edited 30.10.2013
    A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
    The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

    The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

    Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
    Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
    To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

    The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

    The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!" :D
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] gizmo22 @ au 1
  • jjsicajjsica Posts: 28
    edited 30.10.2013
    Leya, a blond, and Caitlin, a girl with dark hair, are walking. Caitlin, who is very compassionate, looks down, and cries out 'Oh No! A dead bird. How sad. Leya look at the poor dead bird!" Leya looks up.
    jjsica @ us 1
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 31.10.2013
    my joke--

    A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari.
    .
    Policemen arrives.
    .
    Man:- (cried) Officer! My brand new car!
    .
    .
    Police replied:- You’re such materialistic.
    You even haven’t notice that your left
    arm has been cut off.
    .
    Man-: (He looks at his left arm and yells.)
    OMG! My Rolex watch!.
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • kiddo98789kiddo98789 Posts: 3
    edited 20.03.2014
    What does "racecar" spell backwards?
    kiddo98789 @ us 1
  • partymelonpartymelon Posts: 29
    edited 22.03.2014
    An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father."
    The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed"
    At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."
    Honest politicians are like UFOs. Most people believe that there must be some out there somewhere, but nobody has yet been able to prove their existence.
    ......................................................................[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]...........................................................

    Wait, I'm confused.......maybe I'm not......or am I?
  • partymelonpartymelon Posts: 29
    edited 22.03.2014
    I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

    Too crude?? :)
    Honest politicians are like UFOs. Most people believe that there must be some out there somewhere, but nobody has yet been able to prove their existence.
    ......................................................................[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]...........................................................

    Wait, I'm confused.......maybe I'm not......or am I?
  • Kat Nip (GB1)Kat Nip (GB1) Posts: 3,795GB1
    edited 22.03.2014
    Heh you ask after posting it?? Amusing stuff. :)

    Kat. Kittie_by_otomosc.gif


    catbargif

    Many thanks to farmerjohn
  • mick6 (AU1)mick6 (AU1) Posts: 158
    edited 23.03.2014
    what do you call a fly with no wings.??????

    a walk.....
    mick6 @ au 1
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 24.03.2014
    Boss: Where were you born?
    Sardar: India ..
    Boss: which part?
    Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
    signature_2.gif?w=714
  • Mad Bunny (IN1)Mad Bunny (IN1) Posts: 1,506IN1
    edited 24.03.2014
    Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
    The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

    One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

    "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

    The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
    Mad Bunny || Blogger || Vlogger || Coder || InfoSec Researcher || Gamer
  • Swati Tanwar2Swati Tanwar2 Posts: 4,532
    edited 24.03.2014
    nice one viif...
    A retired couple is lying in bed one night and are discussing all aspects of their future.

    "What will you do if I die before you do?" husband asked wife.

    After some thought, she said, "I'd probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women
    who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age."

    Then wife asked husband, "What will you do if I die first?"

    He replied, "Probably the same thing."
    signature_2.gif?w=714
Sign In to comment.